100 per cent of supermarket chicken looks terrifying

ALL chicken sold in supermarkets looks monstrous and evil, it has emerged.

New research by the Institute for Studies found that 100 per cent of supermarket chicken resembles some fucked up thing that lived on the bottom of a lake near a malfunctioned nuclear power station.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “Whether it’s a row of pink fleshy oblongs on a tray or a weirdly humanoid plucked bird, supermarket chicken always looks like it could suddenly say ‘help me..’ in a gurgly voice.

“But then have you ever look at chickens? They’re like little dragons with eczema.”

He added: “It’s enough to make you go vegetarian for a couple of days.”