Freshers amazed they all have different words for ‘bread rolls’

A GROUP of freshers from around the UK are amazed at the many regional words they have for bread buns, baps, rolls or muffins. 

The students at the University of Essex, hailing from areas as far removed as Newcastle, Aberystwyth and Cornwall, first discovered the various nomenclatures last week and have yet to tire of them.

Joe Turner of Manchester said: “What the bloody hell is a morning roll when it’s at home? You can’t call it that. It’s hilarious.

“Honestly, I thought we’d reached the limit when little Lisa walked in asking who nicked her cobs, but this is the best yet.

“So wait, Geordie Phil calls them stotties, Myfanwy says teacake, and what do you say? Batch? Are you making that up?”

The kitchen-sharing freshers, who have already shared a range of exaggerated or invented drug experiences and stories illustrating how different they were to people in their hometowns, are planning to take the conversational topic on a tour of other shared accommodation.

Turner added: “Has everyone heard me call one a ‘barm cake’ yet? If not I can say it again.”