Sunday, 9th August 2020

112-year-old woman claims secret to long life is knowing the difference between 'Reply' and 'Reply All'

BRITAIN’S oldest woman has put her longevity down to knowing the difference between clicking ‘Reply’ or ‘Reply All’ when answering an email.

Margaret Gerving, who recently celebrated her 112th birthday, told her local newspaper that she has never confused the two and that the resulting lack of stress has likely bolstered her immune system.

She continued:“I’ve never gone in for eating healthy or avoiding alcohol. The only thing that’s has helped me survive this long is that, unlike all my contemporaries who have passed away, I’ve always understood that ‘reply all’ will go to everyone.

“Never once have I sent an email slagging off Jeff for nicking sandwiches from meeting rooms and it’s gone to the entire office and got me a verbal warning.

“If HR emails saying that people are using too much bog roll and you need a special dispensation because of your IBS, the right click keeps it private and add years to your life.

“Frankly anyone who doesn’t understand that by now doesn’t deserve their telegram from the Queen. An early death will be a mercy.”