20 percent of all children are Mick Jagger’s

MICK Jagger is responsible for 20 percent of all human births, say researchers.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute For Studies said: “Statistically-speaking everyone has Alexander The Great as an ancestor but everyone in the future will also have a relative who sung Paint It Black.

“Science fiction always pictures us in the future with big heads and spindly limbs and while this looks like being true, we’ll also have no hips and a tendency to randomly clap off the beat.

“Another possibility is that we spilt into two branches of evolution, with the effete progeny of Jagger ruling over the squat, grunting progeny of Mel Gibson.”

Brubaker added: “We should be thankful we won’t all end up being related to Keith Richards or humanity would become functionally immortal.”