Thursday, 13th May 2021

Apple designer Jony Ive admits he can only draw oblongs

APPLE design guru Sir Jonathan Ive has admitted his iconic designs are based on his inability to draw anything except oblongs.

Ive, who was chief designer of the iPod, iPhone, iPad and Apple Watch revealed that if a product requires a circle or a square he gets someone else to do it.

He said: “I got the job because I faked my CV. I don’t know anything about design. Before I did this I worked on a really shit farm where everything died.

“Anyway, I just started drawing oblongs and Steve Jobs really liked them. So I kept doing it. Then one day I put a small oblong inside a big oblong. Steve gave me a million quid a year and I got a knighthood.

“I get other people to round-off the corners of the oblongs because that’s a nightmare. I did try drawing a circle once. It did not go well.”

He added: “No triangles ever. Anyone who can draw a triangle is a witch.”