AN egotistical scientist has claimed that a mountain-sized asteroid is headed right at him.Bearing a grudge
Although existing data only seems to indicate a possible strike somewhere on Earth within the next 70 years, Dr Bill McKay is adamant that he personally is directly in the firing line.
McKay said: 121 Cerberus has a nickel-iron core, a rocky surface and has been making a beeline for me ever since passing Saturn, the crater-faced bastard.
Its going to hit me full on the forehead and then bounce off and hit my Honda Civic, which I only got last week.
Its not the first time. 367943 Duende missed my flat by a mere 21,000 miles, then UX2 hit a Russian site Id been visiting only six weeks before. Sooner or later its going to happen.
McKays colleagues tried to reject his calculations for their obvious me-me-me bias but have been forced to admit that the universe has it in for him.
Emeritus professor Emma Bradford said: When dealing with distances of millions of miles, its hard to make concrete predictions, but that asteroid seems to hate McKay just as much as we do.
This has started a fascinating new line of research positing that the dinosaurs were big-headed twats.