THE prestigious Emoji awards have given the emoji that most resembles a dick the top prize for the third year in a row.
The Nose beat the Eggplant and the Squirting Whale for Best Emoji, Most Useful Emoji, and Emoji That Most Looks Like A Dick at the glittering ceremony in London’s Guildhall.
Judge Mary Fisher said: “When you want to call someone a cock, suggest they could suck your cock or merely want the world to know you have a cock, this emoji is perfect.
Todays semi-literate teenagers dont have the vocabulary to type kiss my massive choad, but they can send an emoji of lips, the classic nose, an explosion and then three drops of liquid.
Thats a pictorial sequence nobody could fail to understand, or indeed to respond to sexually.
Other winners included Bikini for Best Foreplay, XX-Eyes for Best Emotional State, and Waving Hand for Best Self-Abuse.
Student Tom Logan said: Ive used Lipstick, Ive used Banana, Ive even used Pointing Finger when Im in the mood for foreplay, but I always come back to Nose.
Initially the lack of a jizzing tip seems a painful omission, but actually that subtlety helps create a real sense of courtly romance when Im wooing a lady through my iPhone.
And, once we’ve consummated our relationships, I dump her by sending Toilet.