Tuesday, 11th May 2021

Britain wonders if any television will ever be big enough

BRITONS have realised that there is no theoretical limit to the size of the television they would buy. 

As 55in televisions become standard and 85in televisions increasingly loom over Britain’s future, the country has agreed there is no need to stop there.

Donna Sheridan of Hereford said: “What’s better in life than telly? Nothing, right? So why restrain ourselves?

“Apparently these new 8K TVs look as real as real life. That isn’t enough for me. We’ve got to go much, much realer.

“Ideally, I’d like a whole wall of a room to be an image of such glowing, pin-perfect perfection that the rest of the world fades away by comparison, an image I could step into but never do.

“Then I’ll use it to watch an episode of Frasier and it’ll look like absolute dogsh*t.”