THE earliest known homosexual has been spotted by an archeologist’s state-of-the-art gaydar.
Experts at the site in the Czech Republic said that while there was nothing obvious about the 2500 year-old discovery, they just knew.
The burial site has revealed only a male body, facing east and surrounded by pots, but little in the way of physical evidence to suggest the dead man was fabulous.
Early examinations concluded it was either a man who had fallen into a hole with some pots in it, or a pot maker who was buried facing east – the traditional burial direction of females – because someone got it wrong.
But team leader, Dr Julian Cook, said: “How can you not see it? I’m surprised the grave hasn’t burst into flames.
“I was wandering past it on my way to the snack table and suddenly thought ‘hello?’.
“Sure enough, I took a closer look and what do you know, total queen. And I am never wrong.
“I shouted down to the skeleton, ‘you’re fooling nobody sweetcheeks – you are what you are and what you are needs no excuses’.”
Meanwhile traditionalist Christians said that if the man was homosexual it proved that Stone Age Europe must have been swamped with gay propaganda and primary school comic books about fisting.