AS Britain prepares to spend £300 million on chocolate, experts have confirmed that chips are still far better.
Researchers found that while chocolate contains theobromine, a stimulant similar to the chemical released by the brain when you are in love, it was not superb, in the way that chips obviously are.
Nutritionist Dr Roy Hobbs said: “No-one stumbles out of a nightclub gagging for a bag of Revels. And no-one is desperately searching the gutter for change so they can have a third tray of Maltesers slathered in curry sauce.”
Experiments have shown that a bag of chips is eight times more powerful at enticing people from 50ft away than an open bag of Cadbury’s Buttons, even the giant ones.
The National Society of Chip Shop Owners is now campaigning for chips to replace chocolate eggs at Easter, arguing that the death and resurrection of Christ is like the burying of potatoes that are then gloriously reborn as chips.
A spokesman said: “And let’s be absolutely clear, we’re talking about chips, not ‘fries’. You must never, ever give fries to someone who asked for chips.”