Comet landing already a disaster, say parking bores

MEN who claim to know about parking have been strongly critical of the techniques being used to place the Philae lander on a comet.

36-year-old Stephen Malley, who is following events online, said: “No, no, no, no. They are using way too much thruster.

“Foot off the thruster! Jesus christ, it’s worse than watching my wife reverse into a space at Morrison’s, which she absolutely cannot do without me having to take over and humiliate her.”

Self-styled parking expert Roy Hobbs said: “Whoever’s steering that lander wants to get their left hand down.

“They need the lander steering on full lock otherwise…no I can’t watch. This is terrible.

“I could land any lander on any comet, it’s just common sense really.”