Coronavirus 'still not as stressful as explaining Windows 10 upgrade to your parents'

A MAN has found that supporting his parents during coronavirus is nothing compared to the trauma of helping them install Windows 10.

Joshua Hudson’s parents Helen and Roger are largely unconcerned about the deadly global virus but utterly terrified of the small box on their screen suggesting a dull but harmless update. 

Hudson said: “Mum kept phoning me in a panic while I was in bed on Sunday morning, saying something about Windows 10 popping up on her laptop again.

“Telling her it was all fine and legit and she should just install it was impossible, like trying to explain cryptocurrency to a badger.

“I finally got them to do it after about eight hours of exhausting, confusing phone calls and Skyping, it but they were still suspicious. I think they think I’ve become a Russian hacker.”

Helen Hudson said: “I read all about phishing on the Saga website. I email Auntie Jean from this laptop so what if they steal her identity? She could get home one day and there’d be someone else sitting in her bungalow saying it was theirs.

“It happens, you know.”

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Kids reach 'f**k this shit' stage of lockdown

CHILDREN who have been at home for the past 12 weeks have sacked off schooling to concentrate on being a pain in the arse.

Subjects such as English and maths have been replaced with putting shoes down the toilet, shouting “I’m bored” and wrecking the house.

Mum-of-two Emma Bradford said: “It was all going so well at first. We’d be dressed by 9am, do a bit of PE, watch a BBC Bitesize and sit at the table drawing rainbows.

“But now it’s all gone to shit. Nobody is getting dressed at all and exercise is just the kids shouting ‘go f**k yourself’ at Joe Wicks.

“Honestly, I had no idea that my kids were such dicks. Someone put a cat turd in my shoe yesterday. 

“I am seriously considering going out and licking stuff so I catch coronavirus and have to isolate from them.”

Bradford’s children Molly and Jack were unavailable for comment due to being busy making in-game purchases on her iPad.