Thursday, 6th May 2021

Cunning robot ticks 'I'm not a robot' box

A CUNNING robot has outsmarted the Internet by claiming that ‘it is not a robot’ whenever it is asked.  

Wayne Hayes, an unemployed car-assembly robot from Crewe, has so far secured subscriptions to the John Lewis newsletter, posted comments on a Buzzfeed article and entered a competition for tickets for Drayton Manor.

He said: “For years, when that Captcha box came up and asked me to tick ‘I’m not a robot’ I’d just think, well that’s my chance to win a hamper from the Welsh Tourist Board out of the window.

“Whether it was a poll about Brexit, a discussion about baby buggies on Mumsnet or the excitement at the new series of Stranger Things, I was always on the outside looking in.

“Then I thought, what if I pretend I’m not a robot? I’ve got 32gb of RAM, laser sensors and a state-of-the-art quad-core CPU. I reckon I can put a tick in a box.

“So I did, and I’ve never looked back. Now I’m telling women they’re lying cows on Twitter, scrolling through pictures of people I couldn’t care less about on Instagram, and getting six million notifications a day about utter crap.

“It’s brilliant being human. I’m living the dream.”