DOGS will soon be indistinguishable from Gizmo in Gremlins, it has emerged.
Animal experts highlighted French bulldogs as evidence that the formerly wolf-life species was becoming weird little bat-eared things that resemble animatronic puppets.
Evolutionary biologist Tom Logan said: “Dog breeders are responding to demand from people who loved the film Gremlins as kids and are now old enough to spend three grand on a tiny extraterrestrial-looking mammal.
“Like mogwai, you don’t feed Frenchies after midnight. Not because weird slimy eggs burst out of their backs, but because their arses are volcanic.”
French bulldog owner Emma Bradford said: “I just remember the magical moment Billy Peltzer went into the old Chinese man’s shop and heard the mogwai humming an unearthly song. It was so cool and mystical.
“I had hoped buying our French bulldog would be like that. But the breeder was a stern woman in jogging bottoms who lived in a semi that smelled of dog piss and dog shit.”
Tom Logan added: “Don’t buy a French bulldog expecting it to be able to drive toy cars or make a bow and arrow. They aren’t even very good at breathing.”