AN elderly grower of prize-winning giant vegetables has admitted wanting to see smaller vegetables destroyed.
78-year-old former engineer Roy Hobbs believes vegetables are locked in a struggle for survival in which only the largest are destined to survive.
Hobbs said: My onions are so big now it’s almost like they’re a separate race from normal onions.
“I give them plenty of sunlight, nutrients and inspiring speeches about how they are genetically predisposed to victory.
Last week I entered the vegetable-growing competition at the local fete and my leeks dwarfed the smaller entries, or as I call them unterveg.”
Hobbs was later ejected from the fete after attacking a radish, a marrow and a number of courgettes for somehow plotting against his vegetables.
Hobbs wife Mary said: Roys terribly proud of his vegetables, but I felt it was a bit odd when he asked me to make uniforms for them.
Also the garden shed is full of maps of next doors garden and he’s strapped an air rifle to the lawnmower, turning it into a makeshift tank.
Hobbs said he fully expected his giant vegetables to win the National Vegetable Societys annual competition, but that if they failed they would be turned into soup.