First female bishop appointed just 45 years after humans landed on moon

THE Church of England has managed to appoint a female bishop within half a century of humans setting foot on another world.

The church’s progress was hailed as awe-inspiring, while thousands of dizzy Anglicans grabbed onto bannisters and the backs of chairs.

A Church spokesman said: “We’re very proud that we achieved this before teleportation became a reality.

“At times it felt like being on a runaway train.”

The Right Reverend Julian Cook, a member of the Church’s General Synod, said: “I remember watching the moon landing and thinking anything was possible except female bishops.

“It’s science fiction come to life. I just hope the female bishops are more like Sigourney Weaver rather than a 15 foot-tall alien bitch queen.”