Has social media f**ked up your priorities? Take our quiz

ARE your priorities all totally wrong because you live on social media? Find out with our handy quiz.

You’re in the car on holiday. What are you more likely to pull over for?

A) Your toddler crying because she wants to be sick.

B) A photo opp of a field and some fluffy clouds like a billion identical ones on Instagram. 

Your ex calls and says they want to get back together. What are you more likely to do?

A) Listen and weigh up what they’re saying against how you really feel.

B) Post a social media story about your quandary, with a live recording of your chat and some fun question mark stickers. They say a poll gets really good engagement.

Your flat is on fire. What are you more likely to go back inside for?

A) Your sleeping flatmate.

B) Your phone charger.

Your mum makes a lavish roast dinner and is about to serve everyone. What do you do?

A) Say ‘Don’t be silly mum, I’ll do all the serving’.

B) Scream at your family not to touch a thing until you’ve taken the perfect overhead shot of your ‘gorgeous family dinner’, including changing faded plates for better ones, while the food goes stone cold and your mum sobs quietly into the Yorkshire puddings.  

Your sister arrives at the door in floods of tears saying she’s broken up with her partner. What do you do?

A) Hug her, then put on the kettle and get out the Hobnobs.

B) Say you’ll ‘just be a sec’ then ignore her while you finish commenting on a celebrity’s photo of their feet in some flip flops.

Mostly As: Your priorities are probably f**ked anyway, but not by social media specifically. Well done!

Mostly Bs: Social media has taken over your mind. Your brain doesn’t register anything unless it is the precise size of an Instagram square and every crisis means potential likes. #Blessed!

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday

You're a dickhead until the age of 30, research confirms

NEW research has confirmed that while people are legally adults at 18, they remain immature dickheads until approximately the age of 30.

The Institute for Studies found that connections in the prefrontal cortex are still developing during this period, resulting in you messing up everything you do in life.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “Before 30 it is absolutely vital not to have a relationship or make major life decisions like what to study.

“You pose a serious risk to others by dashing other people’s naive romantic ideals with your twattish behaviour, or simply by eating all the bread and leaving the fridge door open all night because you were laughing at a dog skateboarding on TikTok.

“However, there are activities that are also actively harmful to yourself, such as reproducing yourself in the form of a baby that then also needs looking after for another 30 years.”

Despite the findings, Brubaker said he was considering extending the age range to 40 for males. 

He said: “While women more or less sort themselves out at 30, men will happily spend another decade on their parents’ sofa saying they ‘might become a graphic designer’ while eating all the Kit Kats.”