Sunday, 9th August 2020

Quarantine is the new skiing holiday, middle classes confirm

THE middle classes have confirmed that anyone returning to work or school without at least 10 days quarantine should be looked down on. 

Well-to-do holidaymakers are heading off to a range of destinations that will shortly be added to the UK’s quarantine list and intend to wear it as a badge of pride.

Accountant Julian Cook said: “We call it ‘Q’. As in, ‘Had to do 14 days Q after our break in Mauritius. Worth it though. Just so marvellous to have a change of scene.’

“Our socials are buzzing with it. Just yesterday Sophie was headed off to the South of France saying she’d probably have to go in Q when she got home. So many jealous comments.

“It won’t make any difference to our lifestyle, because we all work remotely and get everything delivered and the prep school’s very good about teaching online.

“Of course the real dream is being locked down over there. Imagine the kudos of having a Zoom meeting from your auberge in the Swiss Alps and complaining about how the bloody government won’t let you back home. Exquisite.

“It’s great that when a global pandemic strikes all you have to do is complain about the inconvenience to your lifestyle. I think it’s actually better than skiing.”