LEADING physicist Stephen Hawking cannot understand the tariffs charged by his electricity supplier.
The world-renowned scientist began attempting to decode his electricity bill some months ago, but has now admitted defeat after it proved more far complicated than his work on gravitational singularities.
Hawking said: “The bill appears to be based on arbitrary calculations in which the value of electricity varies for no apparent reason.
“If this were how the laws of physics operated, we would live in a world where objects randomly floated away, disappeared completely, or suddenly became ginormous.
“What is the Standard Premium Economy Rate? And how can it co-exist with the Economy Standard Saver Rate, which appears to be the same but also different?
“The only constant is that utility bills increase tremendously over time, and that some spotty little sales bastard always knocks on my door just when I’m about to have my tea.
“Overall, the complete absence of logic makes it an insoluble problem. This is not a phrase I’ve used before, but it has done my head in.”