How you pronounce Huawei and what it says about you

HUAWEI is the Chinese telecoms company suspected of spying on other countries. But how do you pronounce its name?

“Howay”
You’re Paul Gascoigne, attempting to rescue a grumpy Gavin Williamson with some fried chicken and a fishing rod. The former defence secretary is likely to be receptive hoping to turn his brief notoriety into a Channel 5 fishing show.

“Hoo-a-why-he”
Stretching a word to four syllables is the last thing that overworked Chinese workers in the telecoms-surveillance industry would have time to do. You’re trying too hard.

“Wah-way”
Well done – either you watched the corporate video Huawei released, showing the accurate pronunciation, or you’re Chinese. Either way, it’s political correctness gone mad.

“Uaweihay”
You’re so paranoid about the reach of the Chinese state that you’ll only talk about Huawei in pig Latin.

“Wa-wa-woo-way”
You’re the police officer in a remake of ’Allo ’Allo about the information war with China. Ni Hao, Ni Hao will of course be banned in China.