HS2 to go directly through angry Yorkshireman’s living room

THE new HS2 route will pass directly through a Doncaster man’s living room, between the TV and the sofa, every 30 minutes. 

The high-speed rail link will go through 66-year-old Bill McKay’s home up to 24 times a day at speeds approaching 250 miles per hour, about which he is not happy.

He said: “They tell me it’ll be so fast I won’t notice it. I’ll bloody notice it.

“I’m not an excitable man, I’m well past that, my blood’s cooled, but a high-speed train packed with passengers racing past while I’m watching Pointless in my undercrackers is going too far.

“I’m not moving – I’ve got pigeons – but if it’s repeatedly spilling my brew I’ll have to have words.”

A spokesman for HS2 said: “We have tried wherever possible to limit disruption to residential areas, and have largely succeeded apart from in the particular case of the living room of Mr McKay.

“He will be well compensated with a larger television.”