SCIENTISTS have confirmed that you are not ready for an Easter egg-sized Cadbury’s Creme Egg.
Humans have long craved a Creme Egg the size of a child’s head, but scientists today revealed we could not handle it, physically or emotionally.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute of Studies said: “We created one in a lab and brought in a cross-section of society to try to eat it. Twelve of them are now permanently insane.”
Test subject Martin Bishop said: “It was like eating a hand grenade made of sugar. I went temporarily blind halfway through.
“I kept munching though, even through the darkness, because I really like Creme Eggs.”
Nikki Hollis who also took part in the test added: “I was spooning the fondant out like it was soup, but passed out after three big mouthfuls.
“While unconscious I had a vision of going to an Inca-style temple made of chocolate and fondant and meeting Sug-Ra, the god of extreme sweetness, who told me I had been very greedy.
“But when I came to I carried on eating the fucker.”