Kids talk bollocks

ALMOST 99 per cent of what children say is complete and utter bollocks, it has emerged.

The Institute for Studies found that under-ten year olds continuously talk absolute crap about whatever the hell they just made up, with no regard to fact or logic.  

Mum-of-two Emma Bradford said: “My six-year-old said she couldn’t sleep last night because her teeth were too itchy and there was a three-headed giraffe drinking lemonade in her room.

“I almost went to look under the bed but then I remembered, everything she says is bollocks. She also told me that pigs are baby elephants, school have banned books and that she is allergic to cabbage.”

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “We believe that this is how children explore their imagination and express their feelings in a creative way. 

“Or perhaps they just like being annoying.”