A MAN has admitted he has no passwords left in him after years of using the internet.
32-year-old Ryan Whittaker has finally run out of passwords and his brain is now simply incapable of creating new ones.
Whittaker said: “I’m at my f**king limit. I’ve done it all – pet names, favourite bands and colours, ex-girlfriends. Even celebrities I wank over. ‘Riley21!’ lets me into at least 30 websites.
“I follow a simple formula – the name of something, the final two digits of the year I made the password, and a special character. And the only special character I can think of is an exclamation mark. None of the others feel right.
“My passwords have become a time capsule of the man I once was. I was obsessed with Succession for a while, which led to ‘Waystar22!’. I’ve still got one named after my long-dead family dog and a woman I used to fancy, ‘RufusEmily19!’. I’m glad she doesn’t know about that.
“I’ve tried swapping letters for numbers and making crazy incomprehensible combinations, but if they’re too complex I’ve got no chance of remembering them. I have to write them down in my Notes app and that’s too much of a pain in the arse.
“My solution is to have three passwords I use for everything. And then pray to f**king God I don’t get hacked.”