Man realises all the women in his life would have been condemned as witches 500 years ago

A MAN has realised the women in his life would once have been considered witches due to their belief in herbs, the power of cats and having a ‘sixth sense’ about things.

Martin Bishop, from Bedford, came to the conclusion after his girlfriend, Emma, recommended he try a new herbal tea that she had ‘concocted’ from other herbal teas.

He said, “After that I got a phone call from my Mum saying one of her six cats had gone missing last night.

“It was the black one which always hisses at my cousin who is really into Nu Metal.

“Then I called my sister to tell her about it and she said that she’d had a ‘very strong feeling’ that I was going to call her today.”

He added: “I mentioned to my colleague, Anne, that I had a bad back and she sent me a load of links about chiropractors. She may as well have a steaming cauldron next to her desk.

“Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change them for the world, but they would all have been for the ducking stool in the early 17th Century.”

Bishop’s girlfriend, Emma Booker, said: “I was going invite him to my regular Tuesday night Satanic orgy. The leisure centre advertises it as ‘hot yoga’.”