Thursday, 13th May 2021

Man tries to fix wi-fi connection by doing same thing 4,000 times

A MAN who has lost the internet connection in his house is convinced he can solve the problem by repeatedly connecting and disconnecting things.

Stephen Malley, 41, has spent the last three hours flicking the switch on the router on and off before reacting with amazement that his technical mastery has not solved the problem.

Malley’s wife Fiona said: “Regaining access to the internet is Stephen’s sole mission in life now. 

“Should he restart the computer or unplug the landline and stick it back in again? Or should he disconnect the router from the power entirely, as if that will make a difference?

“In a few minutes he’ll turn the plug off and on with a triumphant flourish before gradually coming to terms with the fact that it has done literally nothing to alter the situation.”

Stephen Malley said: “Victory is edging closer, I can sense it. My computer wants me to give in and join BT Openzone, but I’ll die before I give it the satisfaction.”

Fiona Malley added: “He’s started muttering ‘touché’ after Facebook fails to load, as if he’s Sherlock Holmes locked in a battle of wits with Moriarty. I’m starting to get a bit worried.

“Also guinea pigs learn much faster than this.”