New app to help you find daytime drinking buddies

A NEW Tinder-style phone app is helping people find compatible daytime drinking partners.

‘Snifter’ allows users to share their profiles with like-minded people who just want to get nicely drunk before five o’clock.

Tom Logan, from Stevenage, said: “I was having a day off and was in the mood for a proper afternoon session, but all my friends were at work.

“I went on Snifter and found a bloke in a pub near me who had similar interests and really enjoyed getting pissed in the afternoon, so I sent him a ‘sniff’, which is an emoticon in the shape of a pint.

“Twenty minutes later we were happily getting pissed together. No romance, no friendship. Just two blokes getting hammered during the day.”

Snifter’s designer Stephen Malley said: “You can tailor it so white wine drinkers can hook-up and split the cost of the bottles. Real Ale fans can get comfy next to the fire and then forget each other’s names.

“And you can add a ‘frowny face’ emoticon to pubs that refuse to serve you because you’re so drunk.”

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Tories getting some cracking ideas from Iran

THE UK can learn a lot from the religious dictatorship of Iran, the foreign secretary has claimed.

After reopening the British embassy in Tehran, Philip Hammond said he was impressed by Iran’s stance on crime, traditional values and not criticising the government.

Hammond said: “Iranians are very supportive of the government thanks to the simple expedient of electrocuting their genitals. Iain Duncan Smith could incorporate that into his workfare schemes.”

He added: “Britain’s legal system is slow and expensive, but in Iran they just bump you off if the judge doesn’t like the look of you.

“All those little creeps at the Guardian would soon change their tune.”

Hammond also stressed it was a ‘shame’ the two countries had fallen out as an Iranian-influenced Conservative Party would have made UKIP unnecessary.