Galaxy S4 includes wolf-attack mode

THE latest smartphone can do things that you never even dreamed were necessary.

The Samsung Galaxy S4 can be controlled with your eyes so that if you are watching a video you can pause it while being attacked by a wolf.

A spokesman said: “Wolf-Attack Mode can also be used in a multitude of limited mobility situations. Perhaps you have been hunted down by a komodo dragon and are transfixed by its impossibly black eyes. Or more likely, you can’t move your thumbs because of the boa constrictor.

“What if your cat goes insane?”

According to Samsung more than 114 million seconds of video footage are being rewound every year because of momentary distractions.

And the World Health Organisation claims that briefly interrupted video experiences are now the fourth biggest cause of rickets, polio and tuberculosis.

Meanwhile, the new phone can also scroll down a web page simply by being tilted, making it ideal for surfing the internet on a juddery bus.

Samsung claims the Galaxy S4 paves the way for a ‘new kind of tomorrow based on doing things with your face’.

The spokesman added: “The thumb is the one part of our bodies that we don’t really need.”

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Argentina thinks it's all that

ARGENTINA was last night strutting around like it owns the place.

Following the election of Francis the First, President Cristina Kirchner telephoned prime minister David Cameron and shouted “Lionel Messi and a Pope! Eat it!”

When Mr Cameron tried to affirm the Falkands right to self determination, Mrs Kirchner talked over him saying: “What have you got? Frank Lampard and an old woman with a dodgy stomach.”

As Mr Cameron put the phone down he could hear Mrs Kirchner shouting ‘Ar-gen-tina! Ar-gen-tina!’ and then blowing one of those big plastic trumpets.