Nokia with broken screen is best phone of all time

AFTER 40 years of mobile telephones, a Nokia with a broken screen has been declared the greatest ever.

Experts described the battered 2003 phone as ‘not taking any shit’, and ‘the only phone you’ve ever wanted to have a pint with’.

Telecoms analyst Martin Bishop said: “It’s got buttons, a speaker, the game ‘Snake’ plus you can drive a Panzer tank over the fucker and it still works.

“It is the best phone and really you want one with the screen a bit smashed up, because that gives it character.”

A panel of consumers, industry experts and technologists described all other phones as ‘a pile of wank’.

Mobile user Tom Logan said: “I got sucked into the whole iPhone bullshit thing, but really this works much better.

“Thinking about it, I was duped by clever marketing into thinking that owning a certain type of telecommunications device would make me cool. Is there anything more ridiculous?”

He added: “Also Snake is the best game ever. They use it to train astronauts to have faster reflexes.

“And you don’t have to pay more money to get a faster snake.”