Norfolk Tools Date Back To 1938

HUMANS in East Anglia may have been using tools as early as just before the Second World War, it has emerged.

Most early Norfolk technology was used to make cows more sexually alluring

It had been believed that technology was first used in the remote region in 1994, when a local man picked up a stick and used it to attack a tree.

But archaeologists have uncovered several items which they believe will lead to a radical rewriting of Norfolk history to be read by people who are not from Norfolk.

Among the dramatic finds were a spoon, a box of half-eaten crayons and a device which experts believe was used for putting make-up on a cow.

Meanwhile a Bakelite radio dating from the late 1930s has also been discovered in a shed near Saxthorpe, where it is still worshipped by local tribes as a prophet.

Wayne Hayes, a hedgehog wrangler from Corpusty, said: “Old Talky has been round these parts since before the time of memory. It’s inhabited by the magical Archer family and their tales from the future.”

Other artefacts included an unread PG Wodehouse novel and shards of broken pottery that seem to indicate early Norfolk Man had tremendous difficulty in co-ordinating his three-fingered hands.

Archaeologist, Tom Logan, said: “Local folklore tells of a creature called ‘Ali’ that brought humans to Norfolk, though we think it probably means the A11.

“Nobody knows what drove early Norfolk Man so far East but one theory involves a strong desire to be as far away from Essex as possible without having to live in the sea.”