THE construction of new nuclear power plants in Suffolk will not make the region significantly worse to live in, it has emerged.
More reactors in the eastern county will not be a problem because it is already home to a power plant producing hazardous waste, and is generally pretty crap anyway.
Suffolk resident Wayne Hayes said: “At first I was concerned to hear that the government is building eight more nuclear power plants. But when I learnt that some of them were going up here I thought f**k it, the damage has already been done.
“The Sizewell nuclear power stations have probably already irradiated the soil and harmed the wildlife in ways we don’t even realise yet. So chucking another one on the tab isn’t going to make much of a difference.
“I used to think the local people had started to mutate, but in fairness I think they’re just the usual annoying regional types with a chip on their shoulder and a strange hatred of France.”
Local inhabitant Donna Sheridan added: “Suffolk is home to dozens of boring middle class towns and Ipswich. The presence of another nuclear power plant producing radioactive things that have to be encased in concrete and dropped in the sea is the least of our worries.
“If anything we should be grateful the county is one step closer to becoming a massive glowing crater by the North Sea. At least then regular people might be able to afford to live here.”