Pensioners at computer literacy class all keen to spread bigotry online

ALL attendees at a computer literacy class for the over-70s are learning to use the internet so they can share their prejudices with the world. 

The IT professional hosting the course in Doncaster Library was planning to explain how to pay bills and make simple purchases, but instead has explained to a number of kind-eyed grandmothers how to post vile vitriol to MailOnline.

He said: “They don’t want to see their grandchildren on Instagram or play bridge with friends online. They want to be really horribly racist.

“It’s essentially a fascist propaganda knitting circle. A dozen beige-clad Joseph Goebbels with incontinence issue wanting Guardian logins so they can give the lefties a good bloody hiding. What have I done?”

Attendee Margaret Gerving said: “I’m learning the ITs because I don’t want to get left behind. Except politically. I’m staying firmly in the 1930s there.

“So wonderful that in this modern age you can advocate for the superiority of the British race from your own spare room. Now I must get back to this comment about how we should never have given Ceylon back because they were happier under our rule.

Roy Hobbs agreed: “My grandson’s travelling around Thailand. I’d love to be able to see the gorgeous photos he’s posting. And call them all ladyboys and heroin smugglers because they are and that’s free speech.”

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Braverman's right, we f**king love lefties, Met Police admits

THE Met Police has admitted it has an institutional bias towards left-wing marches because it just loves those crazy guys. 

The force, which has long been criticised for persecuting innocent whites with stop-and-search laws, confessed it still holds the same political views it held as a third-year philosophy student at LSE.

A senior source said: “Hey, you can’t help being the person you are. And we in the Met are hardcore radical left until our dying day.

“Most police recruitment is done through Socialist Worker or the Morning Star, so the bias is self-perpetuating. You can’t see cheerful, smiling policemen waving you through on a poll tax protest without thinking ‘I want to be those guys.’

“And as for treating right-wing marches harshly, guilty as charged and we charge them with any bollocks. Plus we routinely underestimate their numbers. There were 32 million people marching for a no-deal Brexit and we said there were seven.

“Braverman knows this full well. She’s always being arrested for coke possession then let off because of the colour of her skin. The lads aren’t locking up the marginalised, no way.

“Free Palestine! Sorry, just clearing my throat. Of injustice.”