People over 40 regretting adding birth year to their email address

OVER-40s are now wishing they had not put the year they were born on their email address.

Middle-aged people like Martin Bishop are regretting choosing addresses such as [email protected] back in 1995, unaware that one day it would make them sound really old.

Bishop said: “When I was 20 I thought this was fine and remember being happy it wasn’t taken.

“Little did I know that one day I’d be a 45-year-old IT technician and this would make me look like an sad old loser.”

Lucy Howard said: “I thought [email protected] was fun and flirty back in the day. But as a 40-year-old GP it doesn’t really give the right impression.”

Tom Booker, 42, said: “I was a massive fan of him at the time so my email is [email protected]

“So basically I look old and as if I shouldn’t be coming to any children’s birthday parties.”

FaceWine, Secluedo and other twatty new words we can blame on coronavirus

THE worst thing about coronavirus is new words created by twats to refer to lockdown experiences. Here are some you should never say.

Covidiot

Just one twat calling another twat a twat.

Secluedo

You’re not fooling anyone. No one plays Cluedo, even when there are loads of you, so you’re definitely not playing it alone. And, spoiler alert, if you’re the only person in a murder mystery, you’re the murderer.

FaceWine

You’re not at a party, you’re not at a pub. You’re two bored people on a video call with a drink in your hand and a twatty new word to describe it.

Quarantini

You want a drink. Everyone does right now. But are you really going to the effort of fancying up your can of Magners by pouring it into a glass just so you can use your new word? That feels a bit twatty. 

Self-isoflated

You put on weight during the lockdown. You had two options – lose the weight or invent a word that suggests your extra chub was an unavoidable consequence of the lockdown. One of those options was clearly twattier than the other and you chose it.

Furlaid

It’s just sex for people who aren’t at work. There was a word for it before coronavirus was a thing. And that word was ‘sex’.

Wuhandjob

When your partner does one of your eight daily lockdown boredom wanks for you. Moderately amusing, but using it in conversation does make you one of those twats who insists on showing off about getting some sex.