Reverse psychology fails to work on broken zip

PRETENDING you are not bothered about a zip being stuck on a jacket fails to fix it, research has confirmed.

The Institute of Studies found that, despite working on other things, such as idiot colleagues, reverse psychology failed to work on zips.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “You could try reverse psychology on a zip by saying ‘Oh, that’s just fine. I didn’t want to zip up my coat anyway’ and then give it 10 minutes.

“But we found in all cases that after 10 minutes the zip was still fucked.”

Other things which failed to respond to reverse psychology include satnavs, vegetarian dinner guests and the police.