Sci-fi buff looking forward to post-apocalyptic wasteland

A SCI-FI buff and avid gamer is eagerly anticipating life in a wretched, post-apocalyptic wasteland.

As tensions rose between North and South Korea and stockmarkets collapsed, Tom Logan is confident that being a lone adventurer in the ravaged terrain will be more rewarding than working in IT support.

Logan stressed he was ‘ready for anything’ after watching films like Terminator 4 and Mad Max, ‘many, many times’.

He said: “I’ve also played every Fallout game on my PlayStation and I’m a pretty good shot with my cousin’s air rifle.

“Also I could do with losing a few pounds and all that exploring will be really good exercise. It’s definitely healthier than sitting in an office all day, unless you get killed by a giant scorpion.

Logan said it would still be possible to have a social life after armageddon, with bands of survivors gathering to drink moonshine in makeshift bars, possibly with ironic names like ‘Oppenheimer’s’.

He added: “There’s just no downside to living in an irradiated wilderness.”

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Man determined to buy cushions

A MAN has committed himself to buying some cushions from a shop, regardless of public opinion.

Julian Cook, who is straight, single and lives by himself in Reading, has refused to buy any more cushions online, insisting he has a right to see and feel them before making a decision.

He said: “I like cushions. They’re comfortable and they make my sofa look nice, and that makes my living room look nice.

“It’s not as if I’m putting them on my bed.”

But Eleanor Shaw, who works in Debenham’s Reading store, said: “I’ve heard rumours of things like this happening in other stores. I’ll do my best, but I don’t know what he thinks he’s playing at.”

Cook added: “I’m not being paranoid. The sales assistant will give me a weird look – or be overly familiar – and my friends, both gay and straight, will make fun of me.

“Can I just buy some cushions without it being a big fucking deal?”