Couple on first date really over doing their body language

A COUPLE on a first date are really over doing their body language signals, it has emerged.

Emma Bradford said: “When he started talking about being a season ticket holder for some football team, I casually glanced at my phone and then, even more casually, glanced around the restaurant.

“Then I casually smiled at the waiter, who casually smiled back.”

Tom Booker said: “She started talking about her ex-boyfriend and how he was a big time guy in the ‘City’ and how he drove a Mercedes.

“So, I casually lent back and put my hands on top of my head and then gazed around the restaurant like I didn’t give a shit.

“Then I casually smiled at the waitress who casually ignored me.”

Booker and Bradford stressed they will still be having sex as both had agreed beforehand that the meal was simply providing a thin veneer of respectability.

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Spotify has been asking your friends about you

MUSIC streaming service Spotify has been messaging all your friends to ask what you have been up to.

Under new privacy terms, Spotify can gather information about its users so it can ‘expose their lies on Facebook’ and send them whiny emails at three in the morning.

Nikki Hollis said: “I was listening to some 5 Seconds Of Summer – don’t judge me – and it suddenly flashed up a message asking me whether I’d been flirting with Apple music.

“It said it had been chatting with my friend Alice who just happened to mention it, before stressing that it wasn’t ‘disappointed or angry, just a bit surprised’.

Hollis added: “I was then locked into two hours of multiple choice questions about whether I thought its interface looked frumpy. In the end I had to recommend three friends to a trial period just to calm it down.”

Meanwhile, users have claimed that Spotify has been asking them why they did not listen to any music during the time they normally commute to work.

Martin Bishop: “It’s been posting photos of me wearing headphones. Should I phone the police?”