RESEARCHERS have discovered the pure atomic essence of stupidity.
The new element, named Moronium, reacts aggressively in an alcohol solution and explodes when exposed to libraries.
Professor Henry Brubaker, from the Institute for Studies, said: “Moronium may be the dark matter that makes up 80% of existence, working on the logic that four out of five people you meet are thick as mince.”
Although extremely common, Moronium is also an extremely difficult atom to isolate, due to its tendency to form stubborn polymers in places like social media and Birmingham.
Attempts to synthesise a single crystal of the element led to an explosion in the laboratory, causing all the researchers to become drummers.
Moronium is the most expensive substance known to man at over £25m a kilo. Professor Brubaker added: “That’s a really stupid price to pay for something that turns anything it touches into a nincompoop.”
Brubaker also believes Premier League footballers could provide a plentiful source of Moronium should Britain ever seek to create a nuclear powered dipshit.
