Splashback avoidable by urinating in the sink, say male scientists

MALE researchers into the problem of ‘splashback’ have advised urinating in the sink.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “The toilet bowl is simply too far away from the standing male’s urethra, so mishaps are inevitable.

“On a scientific level it is far more sensible for men to go in the sink. Urine is sterile so it’s not a hygiene issue, it’s totally fine.

“In terms of convenience it’s good too because you don’t need to cross the room to wash your hands afterwards.

“As an added bonus, lots of rooms that don’t have toilets have sinks, for example kitchens and hotel bedrooms. If the sink is at the bottom of the bed you can even urinate without getting up.

“That’s hypothetical of course, I’ve never done that. Well, maybe a couple of times.”

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I've been accused of doing bad things

Dear Holly,

I’ve been accused of doing bad things and everyone hates me. What can I do to make it all go away? 

Rebekah Brooks,


Dear Rebekah,

If you really have done bad things then you need to own up, face the music and start some serious damage limitation, otherwise you might be in for a miserable Christmas.

If someone has done something naughty, I always recommend writing letters to both Santa and Jesus telling them you are really sorry and that you won’t do it again.

Jesus tends to be more forgiving than Santa, but remember who it is that’s giving out the presents. Jesus might be a pushover, but he’s not the one with access to the full Sylvanian Families range, so focus your efforts accordingly.

Hope that helps!