JEREMY Clarkson will be guest editor of The Guardian for a week, the newspaper has announced.
The Top Gear star has promised that during his tenure the liberal-left broadsheet will focus on cars, girls and destruction.
Clarkson said: Its about time the Grauniad started addressing real issues, like How would a bevy of gorgeous Page 3 girls in bikinis handle a supercar like the Lamborghini Aventador?
“Instead of reviewing lame pinko films about Polish lesbians, Peter Bradshaw will crash a train into a horse.
Polly Toynbee and Zoe Williams can fuck off for a week, because Ive commissioned my own columnists: Nigel Farage, Jim Davidson, Andy McNab, Norman Tebbit and Roy Chubby Brown.
Hadley Freemans fashion column will go too, because I will be reviewing high-waisted jeans that display a pronounced penile bulge.”
Guardian editor Alan Rusbridger said: This is an exciting experiment for The Guardian, because it might broaden our readership beyond teachers and people who make their own pesto.
Jeremy has got some really interesting ideas, in particular his campaign to encourage readers to run over a Frenchman.
Guardian reader Tom Logan said: I dont think The Guardian should get involved in this sort of gimmick, but I am secretly looking forward to the photo-feature about Kelly Brook re-enacting classic SAS missions.