UNABLE to resist the temptation to find out what a 90s actress looks like now, or whether a dog had seen a ghost? Here are the stages of hating yourself for clicking:
Excitement
This is going to be fun! Finally you’ll find out the insider secrets of airline travel or if Molly Ringwald has f**ked her face up with plastic surgery.
Dissipating enthusiasm
Ah shit it’s a slideshow. There are 30 f**king pages of this. It’s going to take ages, and you’re beginning to question whether you actually care if an Israeli fighter pilot saw a giant UFO in 2001.
Every other page is a shitty advert
All clickbait is surround by adverts for shit products for stupid people. If you’ve got a functioning brain you probably don’t need Grammarly, and why are they encouraging you to buy a nasal trimmer? You don’t have huge clumps of hair protruding from your nostrils like an ogre. Or do you?
It’s bullshit
You’ve invested 10 minutes in clicking through this crap to see if there really is an underwater Millennium Falcon or if Billy Zane is dead. You feel a bit stupid and almost dirty, as if you need a shower.
The end is not in sight
Was there a ghost in a guy’s house in Montana, or is there a mundane explanation like a raccoon stuck in the chimney? Are you an idiot for even caring? It’s too late now, and you hate yourself for being so guillible, but you’ve invested too much time to stop. You have to keep clicking.
Total regret
That woman off Charlie’s Angels actually looks as you’d expect at 70. She is old but has had a rich and fulfilling life. By contrast, you’re going to waste yet more of your life reading about former Baywatch stars who got into crystal meth.
