RESIDENTS in Carlisle have a kitten that has not been pictured online, it has been claimed.
The eight week-old feline of unknown cuteness is being kept at a secret indoor location in case it is snapped looking quizzically into a fish pond or frolicking in snow.
It had been assumed that Britain’s last offline kitten, Tigger, was born in 2003.
Carlisle taxi driver Wayne Hayes said: “They’re calling it ‘The Omega Kitten’. Some local lads say they’ve got a blurry photo of it hiding inside a paper bag.
“My neighbour reckons it’s his kitten but he’s tweeted artistic photos of every meal he’s had since 2008 so I don’t believe him.”
Experts believe the Carlisle kitten’s DNA may hold the key to everybody getting on with their lives without internet neediness.
Catologist Roy Hobbs said: “I really need to see this animal. Even just a bit of tail.
“What’s up with it, why is it being so…weird?”