1999 VW Golf with faulty exhaust now a London status symbol

DRIVING a knackered old hatchback in central London now costs £21.50 a day, so everyone wants to do it.

Hedge fund managers, commodity brokers and oil billionaires are trading in their Maybachs and Bentleys for Ford Escorts, Vauxhall Vectras and Rover 200s with exhausts held on by gaffer tape. 

Julian Cook, a cosmetic surgeon pulling in seven figures a year, said: “Your car cost you 200 grand? Sure. But what does it cost you per day?

“This little beauty – VW Polo, three doors, the winder on the passenger side window’s broken – costs me £21.50 a day. Five grand a year. And I pay it like it’s nothing. 

“Seriously, check out the emissions on this bitch. The only time what’s pumping out of the exhaust isn’t blue is when it’s straight black. When I go past people think I’m a bus.” 

Market trader Roy Hobbs said: “I can’t afford to run my 2000 Corrolla anymore. I had to swap it with some flash City bastard for a BMW 5-series that’s only last year.” 

Mayor Sadiq Khan said: “London will be the most polluted city in the world by 2019. In your face, Bejing.”