After Eight genius 'forgave those who put empty envelopes back in box'

BEFORE his death, Brian Sollitt, the inventor of the After Eight, forgave people who put the empty envelopes back in the box.

It emerged that Sollitt, part of the ‘Golden Generation’ of British chocolate geniuses, had come to terms with what experts have described as ‘one of the worst things a human can do’.

The inventor of the insanely moreish after dinner mints went on to create Yorkies, Lion Bars and Drifters, despite the vandalism committed against his greatest work.

Julian Cook, professor of confectionery at Roehampton University, said: “When Brian first heard that people were putting the empty envelopes back in the box he was livid.

“He flew into a rage and destroyed a large portion of his workshop, including the prototype for an inside-out After Eight.

“He realised that ‘envelopers’ were debasing the one aspect of a dinner party that is remotely worthwhile. In many ways Matchmakers were his revenge on a society that he felt had become depraved.

“But towards the end he came to the conclusion that envelopers were to be pitied rather than despised.”

It emerged that Sollitt had also reconciled with Bill Terry, inventor of the chocolate orange, who he believed had ‘befouled’ chocolate by mixing it with fruit.

Helen Archer, president of the British After Eight Association, said: “It is the mark of the man that he made his peace with some of the worst people that have ever walked the Earth.”

Raising a machete from behind her desk, she added: “Brian may have forgiven them, but I have not.”

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Prince William to set up PR agency

PRINCE William is to quit the armed forces and become a full-time public relations consultant.

The Prince has spent seven gruelling years in the forces, only taking time off to do whatever he wants whenever he wants.

Now Clarence House has confirmed that the second in line to the throne will set up a marketing and PR consultancy and has already secured a contract from one enormously wealthy organisation.

A spokesman said: “William will take on the challenging role of brand and reputational management for one of the most high profile businesses in the world.

“Windsor-Mountbatten PR will be a joined-up, full service agency that will control ‘the story’ to the client’s exacting specification.

“It will deploy creative ideas, utilising the dynamic verticals of environmental conservation, charity work and gala attendance.

“Working with an industry-leading team the Prince will generate positive, conversation-starting media coverage which will deliver tangible bottom-line results.”

The spokesman added: “Much like Tom Hagen, the lawyer in The Godfather, he will have only one client.”

It is understood the Prince will also specialise in crisis management should a senior member of the organisation get a blonde woman pregnant in the lavatory of a Chelsea nightclub.