All fancy dress offensive

THE overall concept of fancy dress is offensive to adult humans, it has been claimed.

Following repeated controversy about Nazi-themed party outfits, experts confirmed that fancy dress in all its forms is an affront to human dignity.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Every year millions are forced to look absurd on the whim of party organisers who perversely want their guests to experience hassle and embarrassment.

“No one needs this. No one likes this. It is shit.”

28-year-old Emma Bradford said: “The worst thing is when you’ve already agreed to attend a party before the host tells you it’s fancy dress.

“I tried a Puff the Magic Dragon outfit but because, like everyone, I lack craft skills I ended up looking like Kermit but with a long spiky penis.

“Luckily I had my authentic Spanish Inquisitor’s robe on standby but still everyone wasn’t happy.”

Professor Brubaker said: “Once you’ve past the age of 10, go with normal clothes.

“Wearing fancy dress just makes you look like a child cursed by an evil witch to age prematurely.”

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