‘All is forgiven’ say poor people as Duncan-Smith donates tin of peas to food bank
BRITAIN’S least well off have hailed Ian Duncan-Smith after he donated an entire tin of peas to a food bank.
Despite being the architect of their misery, those struggling desperately with Universal Credit agreed he was a ‘bloody good bloke’ and the gesture thoroughly made amends.
Martin Bishop, the recipient of the peas, said: “I didn’t have much time for the Tories. I thought they were callous and vindictive towards the victims of their austerity policies which were driven by ideology rather than basic economic sense.
“But have you seen these peas? Amazing. I’m not even going to eat them. I’ll just put them on display as a constant reminder that, thanks to the Conservative Party, I live in the greatest country in the world.”
Mother of two, Nikki Hollis, agreed the peas were ‘extraordinary’, adding: “I owe Mr Duncan-Smith an apology because I thought he was a just a horrible, creepy bastard.
“The tin of peas does look as if it might be from the 1970s, but the important thing is he made the effort.”