DAVID Cameron wants state schools to offer a fast-casual educational experience inspired by the traditions of Mozambique.
Under new reforms failing and coasting schools will be converted into homes of the flame-grilled goodness loved around the world.
Pupils will be renamed Nandocas and offered the chance to ‘bring their personality to the table every day’ in a range of vocational subjects including laughing at unfunny remarks from the person who looks like they are paying.
Cameron said: “It’s better to aspire to identifiable goals, rather than offering an array of choice – philosophy, art, history, Hungarian-style veal goulash with home-made caraway noodles – that only bewilders ordinary hardworking British children.
“Too often, teachers have tried to force mango and lime kids to do extra hot subjects.
“I want every state educated child in the UK to know what spice they are.”