KEIR Starmer is stoking class war by threatening to make private schools pay VAT, the ungrateful peasant. Here is a short list of what those with Latin A-level have done for us:
Boris Johnson, David Cameron, Anthony Eden, Pitt the Elder and that’s just Eton
The marvellous leaders who brought us Partygate, Brexit, the Suez crisis and all the other highlights of Britain’s enchanting decline were taught in this hive of rugger, flogging and buggery. Without them, where would we be?
That square mile of London around which the whole nation orbits, eating and owning property at their mere whim, is 90 per cent private school and all the better for it. Regularly causing global financial crashes is a small price to pay.
Benedict Cumberbatch et al
Name a British actor you love and they’ve got a solid background at a fee-paying school. Without these venerable institutions, so many stars – from Tom Hiddleston to Laurence Fox – would have languished undiscovered as if they were working-class.
Who doesn’t love rugby, apart from much of the world and of Britain? But rugby itself was invented at Rugby, where a boy playing football picked up the ball and ran and was too privileged for anyone to call him on it. And so began a game we respect so much we leave it to the North, the Welsh and Antipodeans.
The Royal Family
Their record of achievement is second to none. Whether committing adultery and divorcing, rowing with their brothers or paying off legal action for sexual offences, the Royals are our guiding light and they would never attend comprehensive school. Nor should they.
That occasional one you come across in real life
Rarely in your life you will be called upon to interact with the products of private schools and will know it instantly. The confidence masking the suspicion that everyone despises them, the lifelong attempts to fit in, the leavening of arrogance with apology, like a Nazi spy too long and deep undercover. Yes, what a benefit it’s been to them personally.