An Excellent Day All Round, Say Media, Police And Anarchists

A GATHERING in central London was enjoyed greatly by all who took part, the organisers have confirmed.

'Well played!'

The event, in aid of a variety of causes, was judged 'an unqualified success' despite early fears of bad weather and a lack of blood-soaked violence.

But by mid afternoon the sun was shining and the boisterous crowd had begun to engage in a series of good natured clashes with the police as both sides were cheered on by hundreds of jubilant reporters and cameramen.

Mr William McKay, of the media, said: "Everyone was most helpful, particularly the young man who waited very kindly for the photographers to turn up before throwing a computer through the window of the Royal Bank of Scotland.

"I would also like to thank the police for wasting very little time in getting in amongst it."

Mr Julian Cook, of the anarchists, said: "The police were marvellous. The Commissioner and his team worked very hard to make the day such a great success and I can't thank them enough.

"I think we can all look forward to a memorable season of bloody street battles and violent arrests. Weather permitting!"

Meanwhile Mr Thomas Logan, a police constable, added: "It's the first time I have attended a local event such as this, but luckily I got to knock the absolute fuck out of eight hippies. I'm chuffed to bits."

The event was opened by the local celebrity, Mr Russell Brand, who wished everyone a 'splendid day' before inviting any granddaughters over the age of 18 to strip down to their bra and pants and form an orderly queue outside his tent.