Anti-EU campaigners secretly hoping Britain stays in so they can keep whining

PEOPLE campaigning for Britain to leave the EU privately hope the country stays in so they can keep bitching about it.

As the anti-European campaign cranks up its rhetoric, thousands of people are secretly praying for a ‘stay’ vote so they can continue to use the term ‘EUSSR’ and imply that all Bulgarians are thieves.

One Eurosceptic said: “We can’t see the point of foreigners at all. But at the same time, I need to be able to complain about them fiddling with my sovereignty with their big, dirty fingers.

“Also, discovering the term ‘EUSSR’ is literally the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Another campaigner added: “I would love it if the French had the common decency to admit they’re not as good as me and some of my friends.

“But deep down, we realise we’re like Arsenal – without Europeans, we’d be nothing. Can’t we just be allowed to whine like children?”