Baby's 'quirky personality' consists of crying and shitting

A BABY’S habit of crying and defecating constantly are part of his ‘quirky personality’, it has been confirmed.

The baby’s mother, Sue Logan, said: “He’s just so cute and adorable. Look at how loud and dirty he is. It’s absolutely fascinating.

“He’s just so funny and interesting when he’s making me sleep-deprived and really quite insane.”

The baby’s father, Tom Logan, added: “His incredible personality really comes to the fore when he takes a massive dump right next to my face.”

The baby’s older sister Laura said: “In a few short years he will share my personality quirk of asking 18 million questions a day.”

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Woman trying to be kinky inserts finger in boyfriend's ear

A WOMAN has inserted her finger in her boyfriend’s ear in a bid to be kinky.

Nikki Hollis surprised boyfriend Nathan Muir after getting sex advice from a friend who had failed to specify which hole.

Hollis said: “I think Nathan quite liked it. I tried to be spontaneous and I think it worked. Who would expect a finger jammed right in their ear?

“He hasn’t mentioned it though. I think it’s because he’s always been self-conscious about his ears.”

Muir said: “It was unexpected. I know we’re both new to this but she could have checked with me beforehand. I would have said yes. Probably.

“She did say it was supposed to make my orgasm more intense. I think she may have got that bit wrong.”